The wait is almost over, Diablo 4 , the long-awaited fourth title in the legendary action RPG series, finally releases on June 6, and it feels like Christmas is coming early for Diablo fans.
For newcomers to the genre or the franchise, this is the opportunity to discover one of the most addictive games ever made. But be warned, Diablo 4 is not just a game you can play casually. It will consume your every waking moment and haunt your every sleeping one.
It’s a game that will make you forget who you are and what you care about. It’s a game that will make you sell your soul to the Lord of Terror. Don’t believe us? Here are six ways Diablo 4 will completely take over your life:
1. You start dreaming about Diablo 4 every night
You lie awake for hours wondering if you made the right decision when choosing your weapon imbuements. Shadow has a lot of damage and makes enemies explode on death, it’s the no-brainer choice, but Poison is more fun right? It looks cool.
Aren’t you playing this game for fun? “NO!” the demons in your head cry, we must be EFFICIENT! And efficiency is everything in this game. You can’t afford to waste any time or resources when you’re facing the endless hordes of hell. Every second counts, every decision matters, every loot drop could be the one that makes or breaks your build. Will you ever take down Ashava if you’re not efficient?
You reach for your phone and open the Diablo subreddits, hoping to find some guidance or inspiration from other players. You scroll through posts about builds, tips, secrets, and lore, but nothing seems to satisfy you. You want to know the definitive answer, the ultimate truth, the best way to play the game. But there is no such thing. There are only opinions, preferences, and trade-offs. You feel lost and confused.
You find yourself in Act 5, surrounded by monsters that want to rip you apart. You fight back with your skills and weapons, but they seem weak and ineffective. You wonder if you chose the wrong imbuement, or if you should have upgraded your gear more. You feel helpless and hopeless.
You hear a voice in your head, mocking you. It’s Lilith the Daughter of Hatred herself. She asks you: “My child, do you not take our cause seriously? How can you sleep when there are still so many legendary items that you have not found?”
You try to ignore her, but she won’t stop. She taunts you with promises of power and glory, if only you would join her side and serve her will. She tempts you with visions of rare and unique items that only she can offer you. She seduces you with whispers of dark and forbidden knowledge that only she can reveal to you.
You feel a strange attraction to her words, a curiosity that grows into a desire. You wonder what it would be like to be her child, her champion. You wonder if she could give you what you seek: the perfect imbuement.
You wake up from your nightmare, sweating and panting. You look around and realize you’re still in your bedroom. You tell yourself it was just a dream, nothing more.
But deep down, you know it’s not true. You know that Diablo 4 has taken over your life and your mind. You know that nothing else matters but the game. You know that you need to re-spec as soon as possible. You get out of bed and turn on your Xbox (or wherever you play Diablo 4, as it also comes to Windows PC and PlayStation on June 6).
2. You see loot drops everywhere you go
You start seeing loot drops everywhere you go, and you can’t resist picking them up, even if they are just trash or junk. You never know when you might find a legendary item or a rare crafting material.
We’re not talking about in the game, we’re talking real life. You see a ring on someone’s finger and wonder if it has any magical affixes. You lay out your kitchen knives and wonder which one would have the most damage against the undead. You craft your own real-life Horadric cube from leftover Amazon boxes to see if you can craft the perfect claw weapon…
Grants the skill Nine Lives which revives you with with full Life and Mana, this skill can only trigger once per hour (Image credit: Jennifer Young – Windows Central)
You put your cat in the Horadric cube, hoping to create a powerful claw weapon that can shred your enemies to pieces. You add some gems, some runes, and some other random items you found lying around. You press the transmute button and wait for the magic to happen. But instead of a claw weapon, you get a furball. A very angry furball. It hisses and scratches at you, and you realize you have made a terrible mistake. You have just created the most fearsome weapon in Diablo 4: the Legendary Cat of Hatred.
You knew you shouldn’t have messed with the Horadric Cube. Not without reading Windows Central’s recipe list and guide first.
3. You start referring to your friends, family and co-workers by Diablo 4 character names
You firmly believe that everyone should be playing Diablo 4 too, and expect everyone to respond to Diablo 4 character names accordingly.
You call your wife Neyrelle and ask her to help you stop the Prime Evils from destroying Sanctuary, she thinks you’re having a midlife crisis and suggest you both go to couples therapy. Or you call your husband Deckard Cain and keep asking him to identify your items, he thinks you are mocking his love of antiques. If you don’t want Diablo 4 to result in you being single, you need to shake out of it.
Your co-workers are getting tired of you too, you keep calling the I.T technician Lilith and accusing her of being a traitor and a temptress, she thinks you are sexually harassing her and reports you to HR.
You don’t care about the consequences of your actions, and how much trouble you are causing. You want to get fired so you have more time to play Diablo 4.
4. You skip meals, unless they remind you of Diablo 4
You start skipping meals, showers, sleep, and other basic needs to play more Diablo 4. The only time you eat is when it reminds you of your in-game life. You chug down a Demon Meat Shake and pretend it’s the remains of your enemies. Not forgetting you KFC Double Down, you hope and pray this nutritious meal will satiate you for at least the next 24 hours so you can play more Diablo 4.
You leave your significant other a shopping list of snacks you require for your next gaming session:
- howler moss
- biteberries
- gallowvine
- blightshade
- lifesbane
Oh, wait, are those just crafting materials?
5. You start acting like a Diablo 4 character in real life
You wish you could be as cool as your Diablo 4 character, and start to mimic their abilities, actions and personality. You want to dress like them, and use their weapons. Unfortunately you can’t wear the fine garments and armor found in the game, you’ll have to settle for a cape you found on Ebay. Even so, you truly believe you are a hero of Sanctuary that must fight evil wherever you see it, even if it’s a minor convenience.
Someone drives past and splashes you with their car? You chase them down and smash their windshield with your axe, shouting “For the glory of the Ancients!”
Does a mosquito dare fly through your bedroom window? Blast that corrupted insect with a fireball or lightning bolt “Feel the wrath of the elements!”
Your neighbor is playing loud music, and it’s not the vibes befitting of a demon slayer. How dare they disturb the harmony of nature? You must shape-shift into a bear and burst through their windows, “The wilds will not suffer your presence!”
In fact, all of this is not unlike the behaviour displayed in this hilarious Blizzard advert made to promote the release of Diablo 2 in 2000.
6. You spend all of your money on Diablo 4 merch
You start spending all your money on Diablo 4 related products and merchandise. You saw that Jez Corden was crazy enough to purchase the Lilith statue and want to show your devotion too. You’ve already got the new SecretLab Diablo chairs, and the SteelSeries Diablo 4 gaming peripherals, but you crave more, you have succumb to the lull of Greed and now reside in her domain. You wonder if there is anything else you can buy to satisfy your Diablo 4 addiction. Hell says yes.
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Blizzard knows that there are many more like you out there, and they have an impressive array of items already in their store. From hoodies and t-shirts, to art prints and journals, to plushies and pins, they have something for everyone who loves Diablo 4. You can’t resist the temptation and you start browsing their website, ready to empty your wallet and fill your cart.
As you can see, Diablo 4 is not just a game, it’s a way of life… ok maybe I went bit overboard just a little bit on some of these points, but if you really get into the game it can easily become a passion in many ways.
The community are welcoming and we look forward to more joining the ranks ready to storm the gates of Hell.
Once you step into the world of Diablo 4, there is no way out. There is only one direction to follow: deeper into the darkness.
Remember: evil never sleeps, and neither should you.