(Pocket-lint) – Some inventions are better than others, then there are some that should never have seen the light of day. Well, maybe they should, if just to make us laugh.
From solar bikinis to a nose worn stylus, these are here to shock. Designers the world over have been creating gadgets that shock. Some might actually be of use but in the real world are they ever actually going to be used? In public? That decision is down to you, so you’ll need to see what’s out there. Some of them we really can’t imagine in the real world outside of these images.
We’ve collected the most ridiculous, insane, weird and downright odd inventions that have ever been made or conceived, like the Solar Bikini that uses the sun’s rays to power any connected device. Thanks to a USB connector a phone can be charged while sunning oneself. Plus, you know, you look like you’re from the future thanks to designer Andrew Schneider’s hard work. Not bad for $200 then.
While plenty of these you can’t lay your hands on, not that you’d likely want to, there are some still available to buy. So if you want to treat this as your slightly off-the-wall shopping list, go for it.
Designed to work with a PSOne gamepad, the Massage Me, was supposed to let couples enjoy gaming together. By playing the game one partner would be massaging the other as he or she controls the modified game controller.
How well this works we can’t say, but if you want to give it a go you can make your own using these instructions.
One way to overcome the discomfort of a bike saddle and unnatural motion of pedals is to add a harness to an over-frame with wheels. Obviously.
Ideal for downhill speeds then just sort of run like a toddler when on the flat. How this isn’t on every street yet is beyond us.
Designer Dominic Wilcox came up with the Nose Stylus idea as a means to make multi-tasking even more effective.
Looks were obviously less of a consideration, or perhaps he just really liked Clockwork Orange.
Metal Detector Sandals
If you’re already walking along the beach, why not have your footwear search for treasure for you? That must be the idea behind these.
Who knows, maybe they’ve already made someone really rich – or got them arrested for looking like they’ve escaped house arrest.
Doryu 2-16 Camera
This camera, from Doryu Camera Company, was created in 1954 as a police issue snapper that not only looked like a weapon but actually made a loud noise like a gun.
Ahead of the game on police camera filming on the job, clearly. These are now really rare and one sold at auction for $25,000.
Inner Selfie Stick
This could be the grossest invention of all time. We don’t even want to write words, you get the idea.
Selfies have gone too far.
If you cannot get enough of notifications and love the feeling of your pocket vibrating every time your phone gets an alert, then good news!
These jeans and jean shorts are designed to vibrate when your phone does, for leg based thrills.
Ice Cream Cone Rotator
Licking an ice cream. Hassle. Right? Not any more thanks to the rotating cone that will move the ice cream so you can leave your tongue in one place – saving valuable calories.
Taste Enhancing Forks
Taste enhancing forks that use scent to add a bit more to the sensation of eating.
Perhaps these are for those that really can’t cook?
Beauty And The Geek Keyboard Jeans
Dutch design student Erik de Nijs must hate carrying his keyboard around.
So, rather than use a laptop, he’s integrated a keyboard in his jeans. But not only that, these have a speaker and mouse too. These will set you back £250 for that particular look.
This device might look like an ancient torture device but it’s actually designed to work on your face fitness.
The muscle toning device has even been endorsed by Christiano Ronaldo for his many Japanese fans.
Your baby is already crawling all over the floor, why not put it to work?
This onesie acts like a giant cleaning rag letting your little one learn the value of a day’s hard work from a very, very young age.
Hold hands across the world. This odd little guy mimics the hand holding across an internet connection.
You squeeze yours and your child feels his one change like you’re there holding his hand. That’s not depressing at all.
Cutting Board Bird Feeder
Don’t waste crumbs, feed them directly to the birds.
This cutting board vents off the crumbs so you don’t have to clear them away, the birds will do that for you. Good luck pumping that outside though.
This is actually quite a good idea. The hamster runs on its wheel, which powers the shredder which turns your old documents into hamster bedding.
This product was $15 on Firebox before being discontinued. We can imagine why. It’s a noise grenade that could be the most annoying thing in the world.
Pet Shower Curtain
Getting wet while cleaning an animal can be troublesome.
So why not encase yourself in something that a murderer would wear while cleaning up a fresh kill?
Don’t act like gripping a fork isn’t hard work. We all know it is and that’s why the finger fork was born – of real need. Sure.
Bung this £1.50 metallic stabber on your digit and eat away without all that grippy holding hassle.
Smartphone scent diffuser
The Scentee Smartphone Aroma Diffuser uses an app to diffuse a scent into the room around you.
Perfect for setting the mood or just dealing with any nasty smells that have cropped up in the house.
Getting a bit hot and bothered in the summer months? How about a fan that’s capable of plugging into your Apple iPhone.
This gadget is tiny and a little bit crazy, after all, how are you going to hold and browse your device? Unless you use it upside down.
A weird workstation
Back in the 70s designers were coming up with weird and wonderful seating arrangements for workers.
This included insane things like this figure-hugging chair, built-in typewriter and even some earphones with extendable aerials. A vision of tech luxury for the time, but certainly a contender for our list.
Phone holder cup
Can’t take your eyes off your small screen? Then this gadget probably looks appealing. It’s a cup with a built-in smartphone holder.
All you have to do is fill the cup with your favourite beverage, slip your smartphone into the straw holder and get to browsing and drinking
Because round eggs are far too natural and boring, clearly.
These gadgets are an unnecessary invention by Matt Benedetto. If you’re always losing your Apple Airpods while also being a fiend for oriental food then the Airsticks might be the perfect solution for you.
“The perfect accessory for your Apple AirPods. Enjoy your favourite sushi on the go and never leave your chopsticks behind.”
If a product isn’t connected to your phone and measuring every aspect of your life, is it actually any good?
These tampons send essential flow data to your phone so you’re always in the know.
An intelligent umbrella
This is a smart umbrella that lets you know when it’s raining. Sounds utterly pointless, doesn’t it? Well, maybe not as it does other things too – like notifying you if you’ve accidentally wandered off without it.
This umbrella also has the ability to share data with other smart umbrellas for cloud sourcing data to ensure it’s accurate.
The Cyclomer was meant to be the world’s first amphibious bicycle. This weird and wonderful looking thing had hollow wheels that doubled as floats and was meant to be able to pass across both land and water with ease.
However, when it launched in Paris, France, in 1932 it was less successful as the floats couldn’t get traction on either surface and so it never caught on.
Flatulence filtering underwear
These are underpants for those who suffer from an unnerving amount of trumps. The company does the best job of describing them:
“Shreddies award-winning flatulence filtering garments offer maximum comfort, classic styling and flatulence filtration. Whether you suffer from excessive flatulence, or you just want the assurance of odour free wind, Shreddies are the perfect solution for you.”
So yes, if you’re worried about the gas that comes out of you, then these might seem like a good idea. Changing your diet might be another.
If you’re a lady who’s fed up with getting oggled during the summer months then this product might be the solution you’ve been looking for.
Hairy stockings designed to put off lustful onlookers. Quite a bushy look.
Mould covered sandwich bags
If you’re really good at making sandwiches and your colleagues keep stealing your lunch from the work fridge, then this might actually seem like a good invention.
A sandwich bag that looks like it’s covered in mould and has been left to go rotten. Simple, yet effective. Though a close inspection gives the game away when you see fresh lettuce and ham inside.
Quack muzzles for dogs
If your dog is a bit a of a mischief and needs to look a bit cuter, then the Japanese have you covered.
This invention is a dog muzzle which makes your dog look like a duck, because why not?
Monowheel motorbikes look ridiculous and seem like they’d be insanely dangerous, impractical and a daft thing to get involved with. When they first appeared in the 1860s though, it was thought that they could become a genuine form of transport. Fortunately that never really transpired, but people still try to ride them for fun.
There are obvious issues with them including stability, limited carrying capacity and perhaps most hilariously, the risk of “gerbiling”. This last issue is a problem which happens if the user brakes too hard and the force negates the usual force of gravity resulting in a driver going flying around the wheel like a gerbil in its wheel.
Hamblin glasses for the lazy reader
In the 1930s in England, these glasses appeared offering the lazy reader the chance to lay down in bed, but still be able to read books.
Essentially similar logic to periscopes with mirrors redirecting vision. They clearly didn’t catch on and probably weren’t very comfortable or practical.
Bacon lip balm
Are your lips dry and chapped? Do you also love the taste of bacon and wish you could both smell and taste bacon all day long?
Then oh boy, have we got the product for you. Yes, bacon flavoured lip balm. The perfect combination of things?
The selfie toaster
Burnt Impressions created a novelty toaster that allowed the user to make toast charred with their own selfies. Because what’s better in the morning that eating your own face?
Necomimi brainwave cat ears
In 2012 leading biosensor company NeuroSky unveiled some wearable cat ears that could be used to show the user’s mood.
When worn, the cat ears could show off three emotional states. If the user’s attention is piqued by something, then they pop straight up. When relaxed, the ears flop down and when concentrating they would wiggle.
We can’t help but think that these ears were released before their time. They’d probably do well now with Twitch streamers.
Writing by Luke Edwards and Adrian Willings.